


A Walk Down Memory Lane

by thatwriterlady



Series: 25 Days of the Holiday Season [21]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe Book Store, Author Dean Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Bookstore Owner Castiel, Castiel is in love with Dean Winchester, Christmas, Dean Winchester Is Home Again, Dean Winchester is in love with Castiel, F/M, Famous Dean Winchester, Fluff, Gay Male Character, Happy Ending, M/M, Memories, Memory Lane, Old Friends, estranged friends, reconnecting, sad beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: Dean Winchester hasn't been back to his hometown since he'd escaped more than eighteen years earlier, but his brother has relocated his family there, which is why Dean finds himself standing on Main Street, just days before Christmas staring into the one place with the happiest memories, a place he'd visit with his best friend Cas when they were kids. Cas was the love of his life but their falling out years earlier has left an empty place in his heart, and a longing for his old friend. Deciding to go inside brings back a rush of those memories, and makes his heart ache with want. Little does he know that his little walk down memory lane is going to bring him so much more.
Relationships: Anna Milton/Original Male Character(s), Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: 25 Days of the Holiday Season [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037259
Comments: 9
Kudos: 90





	A Walk Down Memory Lane

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays, everyone, and Merry Christmas to those celebrating it today. Happy Kwanzaa to those celebrating it tomorrow. Here's to a new year free of pandemics and Karens/Chads who won't wear their masks. I'm almost caught up now, only...four? More to go? I think. I finished this story around 4am but I was too tired to post it. I didn't get to sleep until almost 6, and then my bird decided 9am was the perfect time to start getting into trouble. So I'm a little sleep deprived currently. A nap later might be in order! I hope you enjoy this one.

**Dec 21st:**

**_A Walk Down Memory Lane~_ **

Dean stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked down Main street, admiring the decorations and peeking in the various store windows. Many had beautiful displays. The hardware store had a beautiful replica of the town, complete with a train that moved around the track, passing in front of the window roughly every fifteen seconds or so. He wasn’t actually counting, just watching and waiting for it to reappear. The tiny town was done up with tiny Christmas decorations and lights. It was the same one from when he was a kid, and it still brought a smile to his face. Moving on there was the book store. He was pleased to see it still thriving. In an era where everyone was going digital, and even their books were in digital format, book stores were becoming like dinosaurs, slowly fading away. This one seemed to be thriving, if the long line of people inside was anything to go by. When he was a kid it used to be owned by his mother’s friend, Missouri Mosely. His mother had been dead for twelve years now so he didn’t know if she still owned it or not. There were lights and wreaths up in the windows, and the corners had been frosted to look like ice, despite the unseasonably warm December weather.

He opened the door to the book shop and went inside. There were fond memories associated with this place. When he and his brother were little their mother used to bring them here and let them each pick out a book. Later, when he was old enough to earn an allowance he would ride up here with his best friend and they would buy books and comics; Missouri sold both. There were many things he could have spent his money on as a preteen and teenager, and were Cas not such a crucial part of his life at that time, he probably would have wasted it on useless stuff. His life wouldn’t have gone in the direction it did without his friend’s influence. He wished he could thank him for that but he hadn’t spoken to him since he was eighteen and Cas left for college. 

He wandered down the aisles, smiling to himself at the familiarity of the place. Everything was still in the same place it had been the last time he’d been here, but there was definitely some modernization that had happened. The lighting, for one, had been updated. He was certain the bulbs were like the ones he had at home, where they blocked out blue light, thus leading to less eye strain as he read or wrote. Each section had its own selection to choose from but no matter what that section was, it was all neatly organized and alphabetized. Wandering down the aisles of the fiction section brought back fond memories and brought a smile to his face.

_ They were standing in the fiction section, in front of the W authors. Cas was punching his arm playfully and pointing at it. _

_ “Your name could be up there someday!” Cas had seemed so certain of it. “Your stories are so good!” _

_ Dean, ever the shy one, and forever doubting his abilities had just shook his head. “Nah, that’ll never be me. My stories aren’t THAT good.” _

_ “Are you an idiot, Dean? You’ve gotten into the school journal every quarter, every year! You totally could be a successful writer! Everyone loves your stories, why do you doubt yourself so much?” _

_ “My dad wants me to work at the shop with him,” That had been his weak argument. Sure he liked working on cars but that wasn’t all he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to be a famous writer, but his dad wasn’t going to let him chase that dream, so he’d just have to settle for being a small town mechanic. Cas had shook his head at him, a mixture of frustration and disappointment on his face.  _

_ “You’re going to end up miserable if you follow in his footsteps and you’ll have more regrets than you’ll ever know.” _

That had been the beginning of the end of their friendship. Cas had pushed him so hard for him to think for himself, to be his own person, but when the end of high school came, he’d made the decision to stay behind. Cas had been so disappointed in him, and though he didn’t admit it to anyone, not then and not now, he’d been terribly disappointed in himself. In the end though, it had all worked out. It had taken him longer to grab on to that inner strength Cas had seemed so positive he had and pull himself out of the hell he’d been slowly sinking into ever since his friend left for college. It meant standing up to his father, but his mother had supported him when he’d decided that no, he  _ didn’t _ want to keep working at the garage. He wanted to write, and he’d secretly been writing in every bit of free time he got, typing out three entire novels before he made that announcement. He’d submitted them to dozens of publishers before one took notice. When his father, in his fury had kicked him out of the house, he had a very nice advance sitting in his bank account, and he’d not only left his parents’ house, but he’d left the town altogether. He’d never come back.

His mother eventually left his father and she joined him out east, where he’d moved to North Carolina. She’d lived with him until he bought her a house all her own, and after that he’d still visited her daily. In the months leading up to her death he’d paid for the highest quality of home care for her. He’d been young still, and he’d felt so alone after she was gone. He’d met a woman, married her, making sure there was a prenup (his mother’s advice), and she’d broken the prenup when she’d cheated on him two years into their marriage. He’d met a man, the first he’d openly been with, and while they didn’t get married (it just didn’t feel like he was meant to spend the rest of his life with Benny), and in the end that turned out to be a good thing because Benny’s ex came back into the picture and he’d come home one day to find a note saying he’d left to be with her, and all of his things were gone. 

Since then he’d dated on and off but as much as he hated to admit it, only one person had been on his mind for almost his entire life, and that person was gone. He’d left Dean on a warm, late summer afternoon, standing outside his house, a sad, disappointed smile on his lips as he’d loaded his bags into his car. That was the last time he’d spoken to Cas. He’d gone to see him off to college, because he’d thought himself brave enough to tell his friend that he planned to write, that he  _ didn’t _ want to be a mechanic, but most of all, that he was in love with him. None of those words had come out though. Instead, he’d told his friend to drive safe, and to call him when he got there. Cas never did call or write. He deserved that though. He deserved to lose his best friend and the love of his life.

He wished he could have told Cas that he’d finally listened, that he’d learned to believe in himself as much as his friend had once believed in him, and that he’d written the novels Cas had been so certain he could dream up. His relationship with his father was ruined after he’d been kicked out and he’d been both disgusted and angry when John Winchester had just  _ expected _ him to help him financially, without ever once expressing remorse for kicking him out. He’d had to go through Dean’s younger brother to get to him but eventually even Sam stopped taking his calls. John had died four years ago. He hadn’t attended the funeral.

Due to a job offer, Sam had moved his family back here. He was the only family Dean had left, and since they spent the holidays together every year, that meant coming home. It was surreal being back, and it was like taking a step back in time. Here he was, standing in front of the W author section of the fiction section at his favorite book store, and he was alone. More than anything he wanted Cas to be there to celebrate with him. It wasn’t as exciting without him. Every book he’d ever written filled two entire shelves, and there was no best friend here to celebrate his achievements with him. He sighed and moved along, pausing to read the jacket of the newest Stephen King novel. It sounded interesting, so he tucked it under his arm and kept going.

So far, no one seemed to have recognized him, but that didn’t last. As he made his way towards the nature section in search of books that fed his bird watching hobby, a familiar head of red hair popped up in front of him.

“Dean Winchester?” She gasped. Wow. Anna Novak was Cas’ younger sister. She’d been thirteen when Cas had left for college and he’d seen her on and off a few more years before he’d finally managed to escape.

“Hey, Anna,” He smiled warmly at her. She’d really grown up.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

“My brother moved back here. I’m here to spend the holidays with him and his family,” He replied. There were books hugged to her chest and he wondered if she was looking for last minute presents. He’d gotten his shopping out of the way months ago, thank God. “Is your family still here?”

She cocked her head curiously, as though the question surprised her. “Yes, they’re all here.”

That made his heart begin to race. He hoped she didn’t see the shock on his face. He was wrong, she did.

“Yes, Cas is here too,” She touched his arm and leaned close. “Do you know who owns this store now?”

“Missouri doesn’t still own it?” 

“No, she retired ten years ago and sold it. To my brother. Cas owns the bookstore.”

He couldn’t have hidden his shock no matter how hard he tried. “You’re shitting me, he owns it?”

“Yes, and you should know, he has expressed so much regret and has been racked with guilt for how he hurt you when he left for college. Our mom told him repeatedly that he was wrong for his behavior but at the time he’d felt like his life was so much better because he was escaping, and that it would be so much richer because he was getting out in the world, and that it was your fault for trapping yourself. He was stupid enough to say that if he didn’t get out, you’d suck him down with you. Of course he didn’t  _ actually _ blame you, he blamed your dad. He thought cutting you off would break his ties to this town, but the dummy, he hadn’t taken into account your feelings. He was so desperate to escape small town life that he didn’t care who he hurt, and trust me, you weren’t the only one he did. I know you missed him. Sam and I, we talked. He was two years older than me but we were still friends. We talked for a while after he left for college but we lost touch. He’s doing well, I hope.”

“Yeah, he’s great,” Dean’s head was still spinning from what she’d told him. “He’s married to the best gal, and they have three kids, two girls and a boy. They have another little boy on the way, but not until March.”

“That’s fantastic!” She smiled brightly. “I’m so happy for him! We’ll have to catch up once I see him. This town isn’t  _ that _ big, eventually we’ll cross paths.”

“Or you can call him,” Dean laughed. “I can give you his number. He’s on Facebook too.”

“I don’t do Facebook, it’s such an awful place to try and talk to people. It’s like everyone on there is angry.” She wrinkled her nose and it reminded him of when she was a little girl. He chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah, I know, it’s why I don’t use it. I have a Twitter account and an Instagram, but my agent spends more time on them both than I do. I’ve been having some fun on Tiktok though.”

“My kids got me to start a Tiktok account. We do those silly dances together. We totally should get together and catch up. I would love for you to meet my husband Billy, he’s a huge fan of your books,” Her smile sobered and she leaned close again, this time putting a hand on his arm. “Cas has read everything you’ve ever written.  _ Everything _ . He cried after he read Don’t Forget Me. He knows it’s about him and when it came out he beat himself up for ages. You...were in love with him? I mean, I  _ thought  _ you were, but I was a kid and I didn’t know everything. Still don’t.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t tell him that. I knew he was pushing me away in the months leading up to his leaving for college and...I let him. I felt like I was holding him back. When I went to see him the day he was leaving I wanted to tell him that I’d decided I was going to write, that I didn’t want to be a mechanic. I wanted to tell him how I felt but I know it wouldn’t have gone over very well. He couldn’t even look me in the eye and after twelve years of friendship he just said bye, got in his car and drove away. He didn’t even hug me. He never called or wrote either, and I didn’t know how to reach him. I didn’t bother though because I knew he wouldn’t reply,” He shrugged and smiled sadly. “It was his faith in me that I clung to though, his belief that I could be more than just a small town mechanic that drove me to write like mad and start sending my books out to every publisher I could find. As soon as one offered me a decent advance, I was gone. Never came back.”

“I know,” Her smile was somewhat sad. “I remember when your mom left. She told Missouri and a few other people, like my mom that she was going to stay with you out on the east coast. She never returned either. I heard some time ago that she passed away. I’m sorry.”

“I miss her still,” He admitted. “Always will. She’s been gone twelve years. I bought her a house on the same block as mine and she lived like a queen for the rest of her life. That’s what she deserved.”

“John was a very bitter, angry man after you left. Loved to badmouth you to anyone who would listen, but then he’d get drunk and tell people that he expected you to pay off his debt just because you were his son, and that you owed him. Ole Rufus Turner told him you didn’t owe him a damn thing, not when he’d kicked you out. I  _ also _ heard he smacked your father upside the back of his head. Wish I’d been there to see that!” She laughed. He grinned and nodded.

“Yeah, that would have been quite the sight.”

“Am I taking up your time?” She asked. 

“Not at all, I was just talking a walk down memory lane, then I spotted something new to read. I was just on my way to see what you had on birds. Ornithology is a hobby of mine. I have gardens on my property designed to draw in as many birds as possible. I get everything from herons, who feed on the fish in the pond I keep stocked to hummingbirds. I spend so much time outside that they’ll land on me. They knock on the windows too when their feeders are empty so I’ll come out and refill them. Then they’re buzzing all around my face until I hang the new ones. I want books on the local birds, so I know what’s around this winter. I want to take the kids out bird watching.”

“We have some books on the local wildlife and a few on just the birds. I’ll show them to you.” She started walking down an aisle and he followed.

“Store looks a lot like it used to, but somehow...better. The business is good?” He asked.

“It is,” She nodded. “Better than one would think for a small town, but my brother has a way with people. He charms them and draws in business from the larger cities.”

“He was always very charismatic,” He remembered that fondly from when they were kids. Cas could talk them out of anything, and he did. There were a few times they could have been arrested but Cas had talked the cop out of it. Dean’s gift with words was on paper, but Cas just had to smile and start talking and people were putty in his hands, himself included.

“He still is. Say, you just put out a new book, right? A View By the Lake? My brother ordered fifty copies and he sold every single one. You’re a hit here because everyone knows this is your hometown.” She told him.

“I’m sure him saying we were friends when we were kids doesn’t hurt.” He reached past her to pluck a book off the shelf. It wasn’t interesting enough so he put it back.

“He doesn’t use you for clout or to get customers. He feels that he lost the right to tell people you were his friend when he turned his back on you. If people ask if he knows you he’ll tell them he did a long time ago, but not anymore.” She rubbed his arm when she saw the way he was frowning.

“He’s the reason I love literature as much as I do,” He confessed. “If it wasn’t for him I’d have blown my allowance on junk food, and probably pot as I got older. Cas wanted to come here every week though and I pretty much followed him anywhere he wanted to go. He was such a good person and he made me want to be better. I don’t...I honestly don’t know where I would be if he hadn’t had such a strong influence over my life.”

She stopped, looked at several books on the shelf in front of her before finding one on local birds. “You talk about all of the influence he had over your life but you forget, that goes both ways. He says he gets his sense of adventure from you, because you viewed the world in such a way that it felt like anywhere he went, it would be amazing. He says you made him dream bigger than he ever would have before he met you. You guys influenced each other. You might not realize it but I think you’re  _ still _ influencing each other. He bought this place because of you.” She handed him the book but he scarcely looked at it, he was too busy staring at her.

“What do you mean?”

“I  _ mean _ ,” She rolled her eyes. There was the Anna he remembered from his childhood! “That this place held his happiest memories of time spent with you. When Missouri said she wanted to retire he heard and came down to talk to her. After college, he did a little traveling, got a job in New York City, hated it, so he came home. By that point you were long gone and I think you were on to your third book. Might have still been your second, I don’t really remember. All I know is that he came home with his tail between his legs and all he wanted was you. He tried to talk to your dad but John was vicious, told him he’d kicked you out because you were useless to him. So no one knew how to get a hold of you. Our mom lost touch with yours and Missouri, no one knew if your mom was still talking to her or not. She wouldn’t have given out your mother’s number anyway.

“My brother ran away, only to realize the only place he’s ever been happy was right here. He goes on his adventures still, but he knows that he doesn’t need to stay moving. He’s genuinely happy here but Dean, there is  _ no one  _ he ever loved more than you. Learning that you were in love with him, it crushed him. I had to needle him to find out that it was because he’d loved you too. He just thought he had some grand adventure to go on and he couldn’t be tied down. Plus he thought you were straight. Reading your book though, I’ve never heard him cry like that, or seen him so distraught. He scared us.” She looked over Dean’s shoulder and suddenly smiled. He turned around to see the man he’d been missing for the last twenty-one years walking towards them. As soon as he recognized who his sister was talking to Cas stopped short. His eyes were big as saucers and his jaw was slack with shock. Dean turned around to face him.

“Hey, Cas. Long time, no see.”

“Dean?” His name came out almost as a whisper as Cas crept a little closer. “You-you’re here?”

“I’m not an apparition,” Dean joked as he walked over to him. The other man seemed unable to remember how to keep his forward momentum, so he spared him having to come to him.

“W-what are you-I mean,” Cas’ brows furrowed as he tried to sort out his thoughts. Finally he smiled. “It’s good to see you. Really, really good.”

“It’s good to see you too, Cas. I hear you own this place now,” Dean looked around again before his eyes fell on Cas once more. “I didn’t know that when I stopped in. I was walking down the street and, well, this place holds a lot of good memories for me, so I came in. Anna found me, we’ve been talking for a bit.”

“Oh,” Cas looked over his shoulder for Anna but she’d disappeared. He focused back on Dean instead. “When Missouri retired I made her an offer. I couldn’t buy it outright, so we made an arrangement where I would make payments. Should have known better. When she died she willed the title to the entire building, shop and all to me, and all of the money I’d been paying her since the agreement. I used that to update the lighting, put in new flooring and update the register. I tried not to change too much though, I liked it the way it was.”

“It looks good. I like the new lighting, and that you’re using bulbs that block blue light. Easier on the eyes.” Dean pointed at one of the nearby lamps.

“What has you back here? I know your father passed a few years ago. Are you just passing through?” Cas asked. 

“No, Sam moved back. He got a job offer, so he moved the family here about two months ago. We spend Christmas together every year, so I drove out to be with them.”

“Really? Sam’s back? Where is he living?”

“My family’s house. After our dad died I learned it was in foreclosure, so I contacted the bank, bought it, and held on to it. I wasn’t really sure why. Then Sam said he’d gotten a job offer out here, but the idea of searching for a house, then moving his entire family, including his pregnant wife, the packing and all of it, it was an exhausting thought, so he was going to pass on the job offer. So I gave him the house, paid other people to pack up the house and move it for them, and then all he had to do was sell the old house and drive the family out here. I hired another company to move them in and unpack them. They’re all settled now. Sam’s making some updates to the house. I just bought it, had the keys sent to me, but I didn’t come back to clean it out or anything. When I told Sam the house probably wasn’t clean, he flew out early and went through everything. Turned out our mom took anything good with her when she left our dad so there wasn’t much left of any value. He sent me Dad’s wedding ring, and Grandpa Henry’s. Eileen is wearing our mom’s ring.”

“It doesn’t sound like you wanted to come back,” A slight frown marred Cas’ otherwise beautiful face. God, he was so beautiful, a million times more than he’d been as a cocky eighteen year old. Dean smiled softly and shrugged.

“Didn’t think I had any reason to. Everyone was gone, or at least, I thought they were.”

“Anna told you?”

“She filled me in on some stuff.” Dean admitted. He wasn’t completely ratting her out.

“I’m sorry for being the total piece of shit that I was.”

“You were a kid, I get it. Watch any movie about a small town kid and their life won’t begin unless they can escape, and if they don’t escape, they’ll be miserable the rest of it. I got it, even back then. You were desperate to escape and I was holding you back,” He shrugged. “The day you left though, I had come to tell you that I was going to write, that I didn’t want to be a mechanic, but I chickened out. You wouldn’t even look at me, and I knew you wouldn’t call or write so I figured why bother? I had to dig down deep inside myself to find that strength you were so certain I had, but I had to do it for  _ me _ , not anyone else. As you can see, I found it.” He chuckled. They’d moved back towards the fiction aisles and were near the W authors again. Cas looked at the books and Dean could see the tears in his eyes.

“I was a horrible person. I knew what an overbearing, monster of a man your father was, and how verbally abusive he was to you, and I thought you could just walk away from that with no issue. You’re lucky you didn’t stay friends with me after I went away to college. God, I was insufferable! The people I thought were my new friends, they were incredibly fake and I learned how unreliable they were at the slightest problem. It took me a long time to grow up. 

“I was in New York City bussing tables when I saw someone walk in with one of your books. I walked past the table and had to stop and do a double take when I read the author’s name. I felt so happy for you. I knew in that moment that you were succeeding, wherever you were. When I called home and asked my mom she said you’d left town a year earlier. Before I left New York I saw your name pop up a second time on the best seller’s list. I snagged both of your books and I came home. I taught English when I got back here, until I bought the bookshop. I’ve never stopped thinking about you though, and hating myself for how I treated you.”

“Cas, it’s fine,” Dean hated hearing that he was still beating himself up “We were kids, I had a bad life while my dad was around but I got out of here. I kept hearing you in the back of my head, telling me I was too good to just settle and be something I didn’t want to be, so I listened. I didn’t think my writing was good enough but I was hoping and praying a publisher would notice. It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened a lot faster than I’d expected. I got out and I made a good life for myself.”

“Good,” Cas blinked and somehow no tears spilled. “That’s really good to hear. My mom follows you on all social media and reads every article she can find about you. She was the one to call me up when your engagement announcement hit the paper.”

“Yeah, let’s not talk about that,” Dean laughed. “I’m glad I listened to my mom and did a prenup. She was just after me for my money.”

“Oh, that’s awful, I’m sorry,” Cas frowned. “I don’t get why people are like that.”

“Me either,” He agreed. “But that was a lifetime ago. I haven’t thought about her in years, not unless someone brings her up.” He winked and grinned when Cas laughed.

“Sorry. I was just pointing out that my mother stalks you.”

“I always loved your mom,” Dean said. “She was always good to me.”

“She’s a good woman,” Cas licked at his bottom lip as he appeared to be debating on whether or not he wanted to say what was on his mind. “Your book, Don’t Forget Me. I read that and I felt…” He waved his hands in the air as he tried to find the right words. “I  _ knew _ you were talking about me. Hell, most of the people here knew it too. I read it and I felt awful all over again for how I’d treated you, but I was also so happy that you’d found so much success in your life.”

“I figured you’d either hate me so much and never pick up anything I wrote, or you’d read it all. I’d hoped it was the latter but I expected you to be off traveling around the world, not back here, so I never bothered coming back. My father wasn’t a reason to come back here. I’m kind of shocked that you came back, you were so certain you never would.” Dean was already wiping a tear from Cas’ cheek before he knew what he was doing. Cas blinked rapidly, only just realizing that his emotions were getting the best of him, despite how hard he was trying to control them.

“Well, eighteen year old me was so certain I never would. Twenty-three year old me wanted nothing more than to come home. It’s never quite been the same since I’ve been back though. It’s not the same being here without you. I know how cheesy that sounds. I just work and sleep, that’s the extent of my life, and has been for years.” Cas sighed. As much as he had not only grown into his looks but had become even more beautiful as time went on, he also looked tired. There was something in his soul that screamed out how lonely he was too. 

“I write,” Dean gave a small smile and shrugged. “That’s about the extent of my life too, until there’s a holiday or a birthday. Then I come visit Sam and his family. I’ll be back in March when the new baby arrives. Depending on how close it is to Easter I might just stick around. Otherwise I’ll come back. I do the whole egg hiding thing with the kids. I love them and they’re a bright spot in my life.”

“I read you were with a man, I think his name is Ben? It ended up on one in one of the gossip mags,” Cas pointed to the wall of magazines. “They’re a guilty pleasure. Of course my mother reads the same magazines and as soon as she read it she was calling me to tell me. Are you and Ben here together?”

“Oh no, we broke up six years ago. He left me to be with his ex, who is now his wife. He goes by Benny, hates being called Ben, not that it matters any. If your mother is following the gossip mags as closely as you say then I’m sure she filled you in on when we broke up,” Dean smiled at the way his old friend was blushing. “You used to be so forward and demanding when you were trying to get information out of me. So charming to everyone else and a demanding little shit with me. So just ask me what’s on your mind, Cas. I’ll answer you.”

“Are you here alone?” Cas asked.  _ There _ was the guy he used to know. 

“Yep. It’s just me.”

“You’re single?”

“I am,” He nodded. “Are you?”

“I’ve been single so long I can’t remember what it’s like to even date,” Cas squinted as he looked off into the distance. Dean got the impression he really was trying to remember what it was like. He was startled out of his thoughts by the vibrating of his phone.

“My money says that’s your mom. Anna called or texted her to tell her I’m in town.” 

Cas laughed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. A quick check of the screen confirmed it.

“I wasn’t losing money on that bet. Let me tell her to relax. If I don’t she’ll be down here trying to drag you home to eat her baked macaroni and cheese while she tells you every painful detail about my life.” He said as he texted her and told her she could talk to Dean later.

“I’d rather hear every painful detail about your life since you left for college directly from the source. Plus I’d really like to avoid her baked mac. I know I told her when I was a kid that I liked it but it was probably the only thing she made that I could stomach. I love your mom. Her cooking? Not so much.” Dean chuckled. Cas glanced up at him and grinned as he had an argument via text with his mother. He was attempting to keep her from coming down to the store.

“The internet makes it worse. Now she Googles recipes and makes horrible dishes that no one will eat. Most of what she makes now is absolutely horrible and can’t be stomached by most of the people she tries to feed. My dad never complains but I also think if you mixed a spare tire into his cereal he’d eat it without making a comment.”

“Tell her I’ll take her out to lunch one afternoon. Tonight, however, if you’re free, I’d like to take you to dinner. If you can’t take the time, that’s fine, there’s always after Christmas.” Dean said. He watched as Cas typed even more furiously to his mother.

“I own the place, remember? And I have employees. This is the busy season, but this isn’t a big city. I can leave things to Anna, Billy, and Robbie and go have dinner with you. I’ll just tell her to leave things until tomorrow to be reshelved.” Cas tucked his phone away and as he did, he noticed the books in Dean’s hands. 

“I need to buy these first.” Dean patted them.

“Still an avid reader?” Cas asked with a smile as he walked Dean up to the front and rang him up personally.

“Someone got me started as a kid and I haven’t been able to break the habit.” Dean joked. The corners of Cas’ mouth twitched as he bagged the books for him.

“I have no idea who that could possibly be.”

He stopped long enough to let Anna know he needed her to close and after grabbing his coat he followed Dean outside. To both of their delight, it was starting to snow.

“I did write “Don’t Forget Me” about you,” Dean said as he stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “My brother was after me for years to write out everything I felt about my childhood and early adulthood, so I wrote that. I thought about you the entire time.”

“I  _ never _ forgot you,” Cas told him. “It would have been like forgetting how to breathe. Your book changed me, made me see myself through your eyes. I never knew how you felt. I think I was too immature back then to have been able to handle that kind of information, and I’d have probably thrown it back in your face. Only because I was an asshole though.”

“I wanted to tell you back then but I was scared of a lot of things. They way you’d been pushing me away in the months leading up to when you left, it made me even more scared to say anything. So I just swallowed my words and hoped you’d call. Besides, it was the nineties and I had no idea what your orientation was. Hell, I didn’t realize I was gay until after I had an ex-wife,” Dean laughed. “My mom always knew though.”

“You’re gay? The news source that is my mother never told me that,” Cas seemed to drift closer as they walked, something he’d naturally done when they were kids too. Dean offered his arm and Cas smiled at him before taking it.

“I am. Still don’t know what you are though.”

“I’m gay, Dean, and I have been in love with you since I first helped you up on the playground when we were eight, after Alistair Mitchell knocked you off the swing and you scraped your knee open.”

Dean felt a thrill at his words, but the memory made him laugh. “Ah, the day you whooped Alistair for making me cry. I remember that.”

“Funny enough, so does Alistair. He works at the bank and won’t even look me in the eye to this day. I refused to let him bully you or me, and I guess I was mean enough that he’s scared of me now.”

“You  _ were _ pretty intimidating,” Dean teased. “I fell in love with you that same day. You were my hero.”

Cas leaned into his side as they walked down the street, the huge, fat, snowflakes coming down and settling on their hair and coats with an ever increasing frequency. “You’ve always been my hero, Dean. Even if it’s just for a few days, I’m glad you’re here.”

Dean smiled as they headed for the diner they’d frequented in their youth. He was in no hurry to be anywhere. He’d finally gotten back the piece of his life that had been missing, he wasn’t rushing back to his empty home in North Carolina. Everything he had ever loved, minus his mother, was right here in the sleepy little town of Oak Grove. This was going to be the best Christmas he’d had in years.


End file.
